the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize