enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Boobs speak an international language.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize