Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize