either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
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Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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