Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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