Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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