ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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