mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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