youre lurking in front of me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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