I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize