i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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