Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize