Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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