I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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