I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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