Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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