she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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