Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize