This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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