well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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