She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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