hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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