i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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