Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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