dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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