Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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