I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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