You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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