I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize