Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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