I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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