dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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