I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
how drunk are you?
Several
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize