seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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