toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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