I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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