Only a mothe r could love this liver
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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