Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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