It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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