no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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