ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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