Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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