is your mom at the bar?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize