I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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