any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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