So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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