I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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