Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think I died a long time ago.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize