dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
operation harelip BJ is a go
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize