I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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