If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize