dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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